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Monday, February 25, 2013

Girl With A Pink Lipstick 5 ( 19th Avenue)


credits to the pic owner 

... Its just a couple of blocks away from my apartment. ...My folks used to say 19th Avenue is where peeps from the dark side hang out at night... I didn't really understand what they meant...but it sure sounded creepy... they warned me not to go there. But if this part of the city isn't good, then why is this nice looking woman there?.. hmm, very intriguing... makes me wanna know more about her....

There were only three dingy lightposts along the street...gloomy...there was a dank smelly air up from where I was walking...

"She must be playing tricks on me...this place looks empty and desolate...I can't even see life here...besides rats and  roaches"...I'm getting mad.... "Why would she do that?..

As I was about to turn back...I heard laughter ahead... I couldn't exactly see where it came from...so I walk forward...the sound becoming very distinct now... There! I could see a group of people walking and talking... cars parked alongside... then a huge neon sign that says "19th Lounge" .....

"So she isn't really joking, Lord forgive me for what I've said about her."

People were coming in...I  see some couples ... "Hey she's next!..hurry up so that you can get a good seat." a man in his 20's yelled.

"Yo dude!"...he called me..

"Aren't you coming in?...the show is about to start...you don't wanna miss a thing do you?" he added.

Well that's basically the reason why I was there... To see what's going on inside...and of course to see her...

"Uhm... Hey man,  looking for someone?."I asked the man at the door.

"Wazz d'name?"he asked.

"Uhm...I dont know...but..."before I could continue he already cut me.

"Man are you on crack?...You dont ask n'one you don't know no name..what are you a stalker?"...

"No no...you see...I just met her on the bus... forgot to ask her name...said she works here?"

"Mayne!... I dont have time fo yo guessing game...you dig?...Just get inside and have fun... prolly yo momma is there...geesh...young people nowadays..." he turned his back on me and talked to the man beside him.

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Thank you for the never ending support guys...
I would like to know your honest opinion...drop me some comments :)

_genskie_

15 comments:

  1. I really liked the dialect.. I think you nailed it.. and all through out the dialect, it flowed.. it helped build your characters.. and it shows how different they are.. and also, it show how out of place your main character is.. he seems to have come from a different precinct or area.. perhaps, an upper class citizen and the bouncer guy.. Through his dialect alone, I could see a young black male, Jamaican accent, long crazy braids in his hair with colorful beads and a do rag.. I can see him waving his arms saying, "Mayne!... I dont have time fo yo guessing game...you dig?..." WOW!!! All that, from just a little dialect.. it goes a long way.. dialect is just as important as description.. and you did a great job.. go with it.. and keep going..

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  2. Hi there! Shall continue reading this part later, leaving a comment here first to show my continuous support! =)

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  3. I felt like there was a getto convo on the last part... cool...
    can't wait to see the next part...

    Kakabitin na naman... sakit sa puson ha..LOL

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  4. I have a hard time understanding them sometimes...but good for you to understand it perfectly...:)


    xx!

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  5. O.K this is going to be more interesting.

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  6. woooa this sounds fun,
    would this be the dark side of the girl with oink lipstick
    this is getting more interesting huh

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  7. Very atmospheric Genskie.

    Incidentally are you in for this weeks weekword?

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  8. Wahhh, gusto ko na ng kasunod! Beautiful Genskie. Keep on writing.

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  9. i like how intriguing it's getting.. good job girl ! don't stop.. wanna know always more and more! := )

    i hope everything is going good.
    Hugs!

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  10. Just catching up as I've been away on holiday. Interesting story!!

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  11. Hi Genskie. I nominated you in my last post. Hope you find time to visit:)

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  12. It's a great story! You definitely have talent. Keep writing it ;) I enjoy it very much.

    LA By Diana Live Magazine

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  13. I like that the character being so intrigued by the girl makes the reader intrigued.

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