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Thursday, September 4, 2014


It's funny how people can actually write.
Nah.. I am not talking about pencil or pen rubbing on the paper creating shapes, letters, words and sentences.
I am talking about the kind of writing where the writer pouring himself out, filling every space of the paper with his angst, anger, joy or happiness...

I can write more when I am very sad, very frustrated , very happy or very much in love...
Now I am writing because I have the first two.
I guess I could write more when thees first two are lingering and stabbing every bit of my senses.
Disappointment kicked me so hard this time. It made me angry. It made me sad...I even cried...
I felt betrayed, fooled and used.
I sowed but someone reaped....

If not because of my faith, I could let my emotion over powered me.
For crying out loud, I don't even know who's to blame.
But I know God is always with me and in spite of what happened, I am still blessed.

I haven't written in a while and it's kinda funny because my last entry was about frustrations too.
I missed you all and I missed writing too...

I guess I should write more often to clear my head and to think right...
Now I am better... sigh...


Saturday, April 26, 2014

SINGLENESS is eating me alive

First I would like to thank everyone who showed love on my page. I really miss you all and I've been dying to write something in here. While contemplating,  a lot of good topics kept on popping in my mind and I've been wanting to write. However, the demanding work schedule is not giving me any chance. So now all of those so called fresh ideas are gone. (sigh)

I have never been so depressed in my life. I feel like even though I am with friends and  people I still feel alone. I know it's pretty normal since most of the people I've talked to have experienced the same thing.
My question is "How do you over come loneliness?"

A lot of my Christian friends kept on telling me to pray and seek God's comfort blah blah. I've been doing that but this freaking feeling still doesn't want to leave. Perhaps the everyday routine is getting old. I need to do something new, meet new people or go to places I haven't been to.

So what's the point of me writing this? I really don't know. I just want to share something that I think everyone could relate. I hate to admit but yes "SINGLENESS" is eating me alive. ( lol I am just exaggerating) Well I am in a relationship but since he is  far, it doesn't make any difference.

Anyway y'all have a wonderful weekend. I know this craziness will pass and sadly this craziness will get the heck outta me again. (fml)

I am not going to end my life yet so stop partying! :p


Sunday, March 23, 2014

Note to Ladies and Guys Online

Ladies stop putting the "i hope i can find my man/someone line". You are a woman let the men find you, pursue you. Be like a diamond. Diamond is hard to get because it's precious. Stop doing the work of the men. Let the men be men. Your privates are meant to be private that's why they are always kept under your shirt and protected by your two strong legs. Don't give them access that's meant for a husband. Know your value and real men will respect you.

Guys puhlease!!! Stop using God's name on your comments when your main purpose is to see what's under her shirt and between her legs. It's sickening! There's no such thing as "godly perverts" Get your act right


Friday, February 7, 2014

I am back!

I know... Some of you might be expecting a wonderful come back post from me. I am sorry to disappoint you. I am back and that's it. hahahaha  :p


Wednesday, May 8, 2013


This is my entry to Ms. Joy's "Letter To God" contest. I didn't win but it was a very good experience.
I would like to thank her for giving me an opportunity.



Father it's been a while since we last talked.
I always sing songs and talk to people about you.
But then I can't truly recall the last time we sat together
and had a heart to heart talk.

Father forgive my inadequacy
For words wouldn't be enough to express my gratitude and
reverential respect towards you.
I know I am not the best, but Father I plea!
Hear me out! Extend your love and compassion upon me!

You see Lord, my childhood was not the best.
I lacked fatherly love-- I must confess.
My lonely heart has had no rest.
But, because of your love I have been blessed.

This letter is not solely for me.
But for the little angels, yes! that's who they're gonna be.
Children that I haven't met yet,
blessings that I will love till my last breath.

Father I pray that you guide me.
To be the best mom I can be.
Don't let the hatred for my biological father be seen.
But, let the wonderful love of my mom intervene.

Let the things I've learned from every suffering,
Teach them that in every failure there comes winning.
Let my hands and feet be the extension of yours,
That you may perfectly guide them through life's different doors.

Let them grow strong to defeat and stand against every adversity
but be kind and gentle to those who need it.
May your wisdom help them in their every decision.
Enough to judge between right and wrong.

Help me Father, to raise them in modesty.
Where you are the center of the family.
Keep them safe from this harsh and promiscuous world
And let them look forward to heaven's gold.

This note comes from the heart.
Of your child. Of your servant.
And a future mom.


Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Girl With A Pink Lipstick 9

"This place doesn't really look bad at all. Though I must admit it does look crazy at night."I was mumbling while walking down the once dingy path I walked in last night.
I didn't even notice the mini basketball court right next to the lounge.

"Hello there!" I almost jumped when I felt a light pat on my shoulder.
"Oh diz wat Starbucks brought to you. Patronizin' der dang coffee makin' y├íll jiggidy and shocked 'ol dang time." A big middle aged woman. She has dark complexion, shoulder length kinky hair and her big loop earrings were noticeable. They were big as my mum's bracelet.
"Wut? Son you don't stand there in front of my lounge, lookin' at me like yo so high. I know I'm hawt but don't go crazy like that. I don't dig no youngin' so wazzit yo' need?" She asked.
"Oh I'm sorry ma'am I was waiting for someone. She told me to see her here at ten. It's already half past ten so I was wondering if she was already inside." I explained.
"You muz' be lil pinky been tellin me on the phone."
"Lil pinky?" She made me confused.
She laughed sop hard like I've given her the best joke ever.
"Heck no dat aint 'er name. I juz call 'er like dat coz she's my lil pink gypsy."
"Oh yes ma'am that's her. The pink gypsy."
She laughed again. This time she laughed so hard that she ended up choking.
"Are you alright? " I patted her back to ease her.
"Nah I a okay...ehem...ehem." She was trying to relax. "You still dunno 'er name?" She was shocked.
"Oh boy! You both are crazy. She told me she aint know your name too. She just sent me a messaged sayin'dat a goofy lookin' guy needin' a job and gonna see me. You aint goofy. You lookin so fine. Iz goofy da' new term fo' fine now?" She asked again and I shrugged. "You kidz are killin me. Keep evolvin language and tis' hard to keep y on you n' mo." She exclaimed and signaled me to get inside.

The lounge looks different when it is empty. It looks like an art gallery  with tabled and chairs in the middle and sofas for VIPs on the balcony. It is very cozy and sophisticated. It doesn't look like it outside though.

"We open in the mornin, 'cept we aint servin alcohols. We make coffee, tea, smoothies  and wut ever the customer like."
"We badly need a helper in the mornin' to check deliveries and handle the cash register. Do you by any chance have any thieves or murderer in yo fam?" She asked, her face looked so serious.
"None ma'am."
"Are you usin' drugs or any substance yah know?" She was lookin' at me closely now.
"No ma'am, I don't even smoke nor drink." I responded.
"Okay you are hired! You are goin' to handle the cash register. You check the deliveries every Friday and Adora and Ramona willl be the one helping you running the store. They two make the most delicious coffee in Carlstone."

Things were happening so fast. A minute ago I was lurking at the door and here I am being brief with my duties and responsibilities.

"Am I really hired? " I was just trying to make sure that I heard it right.  I am telling you this woman talked so fast as in non stop.
"Why is there a problem? You aint want to?" She sarcastically asked.
"Oh no ma'am  I want it. I just can't ...." She didn't let me finish what ever I want to say.
"No more talkin', You go ask Adora the shop uniform and fo' your other stuff. By the way call me Zula. Don't dare askin where mah name came from coz I don't freakin no too.
Too much thinkin iz bad fo' my health so I didn't bother askin' mah parents before they leave the good earth. Oh my good parents...." She said while dabbing the hankie at the corner of her eyes. Talking to her is like watching a sitcom, funny, hilarious.
"Is she coming?" I asked Zula after she's done reminiscing the good moments with her parents.
"She aint! He grand daddy is in the hospital. The man prolly had his asthma attack again."

I was a bit disappointed for not seeing her that day. But I prayed for her grandpa's fast recovery, and also for her. I hope she's fine. I have all the time to see her here next time. Maybe tomorrow.

Sorry mahaba hahaha...  okay lang kahit skip reading but It would be better if you read everything pati yung part 1- 8 hehehe. :P